There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
