Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize