when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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