ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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