Small penises have feelings too.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
