Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
