this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
i need some magic done to my vagina
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
