dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
it wasn't lemon gatorade
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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