Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
