lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
