smell my finger.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
