Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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