Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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