If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
