He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
