No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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