and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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