Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
