White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
