being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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