She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
