the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
