what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize