Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
