Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
