So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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