so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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