you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
