guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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