I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize