What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
