I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
