seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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