I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
