Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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