Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
