Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize