What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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