It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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