i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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