With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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