Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
