He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
