I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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