You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
