i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
