Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
