That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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