He kissed a someone with a penis
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
