Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize