its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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