"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
