I am spending my child support on dildos
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
