Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
and she was petting her beer can
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
