Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
