Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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