Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
