Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Don't EVER smell your tampon
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
