i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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