She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize