I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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