my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
