Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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