This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
