I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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