Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think a kid would responsible me up
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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