What a fucking waste of an outfit
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
