just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Randomize
