Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
