I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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