is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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