It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
