If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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