Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
