love makes seman taste better
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
