Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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